Some Questions and Temporary Conclusions for This Past 23 Years #Part0 ‘Woods’

I was a tale. I inhale. And now I barely stare to the sky and walls.

I lived in a maze. Mind that blocks unwanted desire. Not necessarily a block. Only a wooden plank partition. So much in between the talks of what is right and what is left to be discussed.

Why do I excel, why do I fail? Why did I fly, why did I fall?

Admiration, respect, and other things that keep me being sane. Or, extremely insane. Are we those flying dust who stay thirsty of worshiping? Do we need something to desire? Do we live with competing? Why do I need to pee at some improper time?

I like someone, and I like me. I hate people, and I hate me. I have a crush, and I just crushed myself. I hug people, no one hug me. I end up being a loner who tries to marry myself.

One day I feel blue, one day I feel so nice. But most of the time I have many colors in my shirt so people won’t be guessing what I am up to.

Almost 3. He doesn’t show up. Almost 4. He doesn’t even call me. Almost 5. I still wait for him. Almost 6. I should call him. He doesn’t pick up. Almost 7. My mother calls me. Almost 8. Nothing happens. Almost 9. I text him I am home.

Almost 3. I call him. 3.15. I ask him to go get a cab. 3.30. I text him not to come. We’re supposed to meet at 4.

I have a phone. I name her Paul. I have a kitten. I name him Paul. I have a motorbike. I name her Paul. I have a crush. His name is not Paul.

Author: chitazhang

even having nothing in mind is a concept

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